EVERYDAY'S HAPPENINGS
Monday, April 21, 2008
after one yr plus of not blogging.. i suddenly have the mood to blog again..coz i have so much inside me until i feel like i am exploding soon.. and i doubt anyone would have been so loyal to follow my blog till now.. if anyone do read this.. pls let me know.. =)
haiz..recently have been hoping to see the words "New Message" on friendster..since he mia in September till now.. i just asked him why he mia thru frendster somewhere in end March or early April..and since then he keeps replying to my mail and if i don reply him he will message me again askin if frenster have problem or if i m too bz to reply him..
it seems like he is waitin for my messages but i don dare to face the fact..and i do hope and also scared at de same time to see his mail..i don wan to drop into it again.. and dislike the feeling of waiting for his message when i duno if he will reply anot..juz like de calls and smses last time which went unanswered.. ='(
have been like a fool..so faithfully logging into frenster almost everyday to see and reply his messages..even when i m so tired after classes or work..seeing his messages brighten up de night for awhile.. but when i don see de messages it feels like "I am such a fool!"
I know i should not even start feelin tt way coz tt's how to intruded into my spaces times and again..but what should i do..though the many times he came back..i knew he will leave again one day but i still let him into my space..
when can i ever trully forget him.. and know what he put single on his frenster when he is in fact not single.. and he is adding more more more cute young juvenile kids and getting comments and leaving comment to small kiddy gals...
i wonder what is his main aim of doing such things when he is back wit kersten and reassuring me those things which i learn to not trust..
i really don understand what he is doin..esp when i don feel like or dunno how to reply his messages yet he will start a new message again...
sometimes i hate myself for being soft hearted.. ppl can be so harsh to not reply smses, calls and mails...but not for me...no matter how much i dislike or love de person i juz can't bring myself not to reply back coz i know how hurt it is to be left unanswered and puzzled...
- becka
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